For months now, I have been haunted by the battle between following my dreams, my calling, and my passion while also being confronted by the reality of the fact that I have bills to pay and a family to take care of. I have fought hard to bring my dreams into fruition, and I have brawled with myself to justify leaving my passions behind in order to first meet the reality of life that says I have to make enough money to pay my bills. How does one justify sacrificing a calling for the sake of earthly comforts? Can one openly accept that dreams have to be put on hold until riches can be made?
As a Christian, I am struck hard by the realization that life on earth is fleeting and that I will be judged by both the choices I make and the decisions that I choose to ignore. For me, my dreams and passions are my calling. They are the desires that God has put on my heart and dictated that I see through to the end. Yet, as a man with a family to provide for I am faced with the contradiction that it is sometimes seemingly impossible to both accept and follow my calling while also providing for the safety and security of my family. In the past, I have justified inaction, silence, even ignorance as a fact of life. I have told myself that my calling can’t be fulfilled until my family is financially secure.
For years, and honestly up until just days ago I had settled into the notion that my service to my faith and my God could not continue until I had achieved the wealth, power, and independence to see my calling through without giving up the lifestyle that my family, no that I, was accustomed to. In all honesty, I believed that it was up to me to secure the future and success of my calling. I was not able to humble myself enough to ask others for help, and in truth, I was not willing to accept that God had a better plan than I did to provide the funds and the resources to see my calling into reality. I believed that God gave me the desires of my heart but I was unable to accept that He would also fulfill the desires that he instilled in me.
I am now asking for your forgiveness, for forgiveness from my wife, and for forgiveness from my God. For too long I have lived as a selfish man; using my family, my business, and even you; my readers, as an excuse for my inaction. I have falsely believed that my dreams, my passions, and my calling could not be launched until certain benchmarks were met, readership levels were reached, and monetary objectives were realized. I now know that by relying on my own achievements and expectations I have painted God into a box that he was never meant to be contained by. I have arrogantly told God that his will could only be accomplished by my plan. For that I am sorry. My inaction has been inexcusable, but I am at a turning point. I can either bow my head in shame and accept the defeat that I have brought unto myself or I can turn my eyes unto the Lord and say that His will is more powerful than my failure. I am now willing to say openly to you and to God that I am ready and willing to be used where I am at, in all of my humility, weakness, and inadequacies. My Strength will not be found in my own abilities but in my willingness to surrender my plans in order for my Lord’s will to take precedence.
For those of you who have accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior, I ask for your prayers and support. I am about to embark on a task too large for me to handle alone, but I must follow the path that God has laid before me. For those of you who are still skeptical of God’s master plan and love for you; I thank you for sticking with me and continuing to read. I pray that my words will probe you to ask the tough questions about your life and purpose. I pray that you will see that my failures have not excluded me from God’s grace, and I pray that you come to realize that your own weaknesses and uncertainties can be settled by simply accepting the free gift of God’s grace. His hand is reaching out to all of us. All we must do is accept it. But, I understand, you are not there yet, please stay with me. Read and watch what happens over the next few months in all of our lives. God is active, and I believe that his love will be seen by all though who seek the truth. Together we can explore the power of a God who wants to be close to us. Together we can ask the tough questions. Faith is not about blind belief, but faith is about believing in something unseen; a proven presence that we can easily ignore but never explain away. Together we can seek for the truth and find a life so much more fulfilling than we ever thought possible. I ask that you stick with me, read, listen, and together we can see exactly how an active, caring, and engaged God can and will change our lives when we are simply willing to humble ourselves before him.
These are exciting times and I know that God will see his plan through, but I also believe that he works through us, for us, and because of us. His plan will be fulfilled with or without our help but that is no excuse to sit silently on the sidelines. Together we must work and prepare to do our part. Already God is preparing a way for Common Sense Development. The launch of my latest book has helped form some exciting relationships and I look forward to see the future that God has prepared for all of us.